


To Your Beautiful

by Prince_Indy



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bisexual Spencer Reid, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Worship, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt, Hurt Luke, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24244792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Indy/pseuds/Prince_Indy
Summary: Luke gained a little fat after settling down in a relationship with Spencer. This arises some past habits. Spencer is a good emotional support human though.
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid
Comments: 1
Kudos: 118





	To Your Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> [[ TW ]] eating disorders, body checking, calorie talk

Luke hadn't been the fittest child, he could blame that much on his mother's love language being food. You couldn't walk into the Alvez residence without being fed or at very least taking some food to go. He couldn't blame her for it though, she simply cared. However when highschool hit, he began to take notice of how he differed from the other guys and how it affected his friendship and relationship status. He began to eat less ethnic food, opting for boring foods like plain sandwiches. He would only eat simple, healthy, boring foods to lure himself away from wanting to eat.

He became obsessed with how he looked. Luke began to work out, joining the track team for relays and the cross country club. It still wasn't enough though. He was lean, but not strong. He picked up weight lifting, hoping to gain some muscle. He did, he just never saw it. 

His friendships began to change, he was more popular, people liked him and envied him. This only fueled his pain. He believed if he ever gained any fat, people would begin to dislike him again, the same way he disliked himself. 

Luke joined the military, eating was a struggle for him, especially out in combat zones where he was eating upwards of 3000 calories a day. However, after passing out from lack of nutrients, he accepted he would have to eat properly. 

It wasn't until his mid twenties that he was diagnosed with an eating disorder called orthorexia. Obsessive healthiness. He began to take behavior therapies, joined groups, and practiced self care. While he did begin to love himself, the thought of having to be the strong muscular one always plauge his thoughts. He would still turn down snacks or offers to go drinking. You know what they say about drinking your calories. He still checked himself out in the reflection when he could. This was a trait most passed off as arrogance but in reailty all Luke could see was a fat, unhappy little kid.

\---

Spencer knew of Luke's eating disorder, it was in his file, but he never brought himself to mention it. He would notice that Luke was acting smaller, and would slouch on some days. On those days, Spencer made sure to reassure Luke he looked good, as platonically as he could atleast. Luke was obviously struggling with his own demons, and his coworker's puppy crush wouldn't help. At least that's what the younger man thought

\---

Spencer walked into his apartment, no their apartment, with lunch. He and Luke had been together for about a year and a half now and spent most of their time at Spencer's apartment so Luke just moved his things into the bookish apartment for good a few weeks prior. Spencer carried a whistled tune quietly as he set the food into the fridge. He began to move his way through the cozy apartment, looking for his boyfriend. He found the man in the bedroom, looking at the mirror intently. Luke was taking suck of air in to pull his stomach in, squishing the small layer a fat down. He didn't notice Spencer's presence until he was being gently kissed, his partner's hands cold on his exposed waist. 

Luke was by no means overweight. He had what Reid lovingly referred to as 'domestic fluff'. According to Spencer's research, this was normal in relationships like their's. The body would react to a sence of calm and begin to store fat and slow down one's metabolism upon finding no danger in the situation. Luke did not approve. Despite being completely flat in the stomach still, he felt disgusting, not having rock hard abs like he used to.

Spencer could see the pain Luke was in when he would body check. His boyfriend would never admit it, but tears brimmed his eyes everytime. Whether it was in sadness or disgust, neither knew. 

Spencer pulled back and layed a gentle kiss on Luke's forehead. They weren't far apart in height, only 3 inches of so, but enough to offer head kisses easily. It was hard to understand what Luke was truly going through but he knew he wanted to help the older man. 

Spencer ran his hands up and over Luke's upper body, kissing his jaw and shoulder. He treated the man's body like a fragile sculpture that should be revered by millions, he truly belived it too. Spencer believed Luke was the most attractive person on the planet, he also knew he was factually handsome to back up his opinion. He moved himself in front of the mirror to stop Luke from staring. Body checking was bad for him. 

Luke swallowed thickly. "What are you doing babe?" He asked quietly. His voice was going slightly hoarse, he must have been there longer than he thought.

"You're gorgeous" Spencer said simply, "I want you to know that".

"You are biased" Luke countered, his voice bitter as he leaned his head on Spencer's as the other man continued to basically worship Luke's body.

"No, factually your face shape and abdomen and limbs are of ideal proportions" 

"That's not what the kids at my school thought"

"Why are they invading your thoughts right now?" Spencer asked tentatively, looking up to meet Luke's eyes, which were stilled glassy.

Luke handed him an envelope. A highschool reunion. 25 years. It hurt Spencer to think that what his amazing partner went through 25 years ago still hurt him today. Spencer just shook his head and let it fall to the floor. "You are beautiful the way you are, you don't have to change a thing about yourself to fit some temporary opinion." 

Luke let a tear slip out silently as Spencer dropped to his knees. He kissed all over Luke's stomach knowing that was a sorce of pain right now. 

"Stunning" kiss. "Perfect" smooch. "Handsome" kiss. Spencer gave him a compliment as he worked himself up and down Luke's abdominal region. Luke had never had someone react the way Spencer did to his insecurities. He was always just told to man up, whether it was male or female partners. 

When Spencer stood up and kissed Luke again Luke finally spoke again, "I don't see what you like so much you know." He felt like he was fishing for compliments but it was a genuine statement. 

"Well, the simplest answer is I like you. That won't change based on your weight, or height, or muscle mass. You are the most beautiful creature in the universe to me, nothing will make me change my mind. Not even your mind." Spencer said calmly. He was Luke's rock, his grounding to reality. 

Luke pulled Spencer into a tight hug, lifting him up on his toes for a second from pure joy and appreciation. Maybe he really was worth something to somebody. A hope in the dark times. The pain and nagging would never leave but knowing he was beautiful to someone, truly beautiful made it a little better. 

Spencer moved them over to the bed and held his boyfriend for as long as he needed. They had what was supposed to be lunch, for dinner, and for the first time since Luke had gotten that invitation a week earlier, he didn't worry about calories, macros or anything. He simply enjoyed the meal with his amazing boyfriend. The best boyfriend.

\---

They ended up going to the reunion the next weekend, and after a peptalk from his boyfriend, Luke even did so confidently. They ended that night on a high note and Luke would never thank Spencer enough for that.


End file.
